I am tired of putting on a fake smile and surrounding myself with people that piss me off.
I'm tired of putting myself in situations where I get taken advantage of.
I hate how easily I care.
I hate how easily I trust.
 
I don't know what I am doing with my life right now. I blow all my money on my addictions and partying. I am living in someone else's house because my dad gave up. I am completely ignoring my family. I go to sleep every night trying to make this pain and emptiness leave my head and heart. And I wake up in the morning more tired than I was when I closed my eyes.

I have a hard time thinking about why things never work out between you and I. Even after you leave me every single fucking time for someone else, I still take you back. I guess I just need to come to terms with the fact that in this case, we aren't going to be together. At least not right now. I want to be with you, Eric. I love you with all my heart. I am willing to give us my all. But you have to want it. I guess you aren't ready. But you will be. In time. And I'll be waiting. But for now, I guess I will just burn. And think about what used to be, until it becomes what is, again.

Would you believe me if I said I'm in love?
Baby, I want you to want me.
Would you believe me if I said I'm in love?
Baby, I want ya.